You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
