More tranny stories later!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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