I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
