Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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