So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize