the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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