whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
