I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
