if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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