I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
