We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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