some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
