speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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