just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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