His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
