I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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