If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize