don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
