I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
