Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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