I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
