He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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