Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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