since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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