You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
