In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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