Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
