YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
