do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
