i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
