my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
