Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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