We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
