Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We got so high we made milksteak
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
