I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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