Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize