Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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