thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
