This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
