she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize