there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
