The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
