I want to have your abortion
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
