someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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