Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize