high people should be assigned attendants
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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