I must be too annoying 4 u.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize