Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
