Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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