Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize