I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
