he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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