everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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