o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
no you cant smoke seaweed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
