I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
