Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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