You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
