So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Pooping to opera.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
