could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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