Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
