I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You don't make any sense
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