Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
