my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
